There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
