Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
