While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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