I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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