In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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