Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Boobs are out for the taking
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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