Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
