i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
