Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
