Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
