He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
