we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
