Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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