a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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