She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
