her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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