Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
