Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
