would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
