I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
