dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
