WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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