I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
