She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
