New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
whose parrot is this?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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