I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
