Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i think i just lost a toe
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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