two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
