elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
