yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
