I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
