Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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