How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
