ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
