i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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