ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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