I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
