I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
