I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We're too hungover to prance.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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