Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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