all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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