Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
