She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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