Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
