listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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