i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
