I hate your face
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
