I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
