It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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