I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
