Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
