He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
