Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
