She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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