2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
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out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize