She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
