I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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