At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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