So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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