She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
