One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
