Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
