I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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