is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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