kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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